The view from the top of San Pedro Volcano, Guatemala

In no particular order:

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”
– Mark Twain

“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.”
– John Steinbeck

“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.”
– Lao Tzu

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.”
– Henry Miller

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Xpat Magazine September, 2007

Most recent athletic feat undertaken by Taiwanese ultramarathon champion, Kevin Lin: Running 6,920 km across six countries, and the Sahara Desert, in 111 days

The average distance run per day: 62 km

Total number of Taiwanese to play Major League Baseball: 4

Number of Taiwanese MLB players, present and former, of aboriginal ancestry: 2 (Chin-Feng Chen and Chin-hui Tsao)

Number of the Taiwanese MLB players, present and former, from Tainan City and County: 3

Day of the year that the most collect calls are made: Father’s Day

Number of people killed by falling coconuts each year: approximately 150

Number of people killed by sharks each year: approximately 10

Reaction of some octopuses to extreme stress: Eating their own arms

Oldest defense secretary in the history of the United States: Donald Rumsfield

Youngest defense secretary in the history of the United States: Donald Rumsfield

Worst defense secretary in the history of the United States: take a wild guess

Which came first, the chicken or the egg: The egg, as concluded by a panel of scientific and philosophic experts last year

Name of the first company to offer genetically designed hypoallergenic (non-allergy inducing) kittens: Allerca Inc.

Cost per kitten: USD$3950

Product’s popularity: There’s currently a two-year backlog of unfilled orders

First-ever genetically modified pet sold: The GloFish®

Date GloFish® first entered the US market: December, 2003

Colors of GloFish®: Starfire Red™, Electric Green™ and Sunburst Orange™

Suggested retail price: USD$5
Factor by which the volume of land used to produce genetically modified crops increased between 1996 and 2005: 50 (from 4.2 million acres to 222 million acres)

Countries that saw the greatest increases: Brazil and India

Percentage of normal baby rats that die within three weeks of birth according to a recent Russian study: 6.8

Percentage of baby rats born to a mother fed a natural soy diet that died within three weeks of birth (same study): 9

Percentage of baby rats born to a mother who was fed a GM soybean diet that died within three weeks of birth (same study): 55.6

Percentage of soybeans grown in the United States in 2006 with GM traits: 89

Taiwan’s policy towards labeling GM foods: Products containing more than 5% GMO ingredients must be labeled as such. Products containing less can be labeled “Non-GMO”

Percentage of GMO ingredients that must be present for mandatory GMO labeling in the EU: 1

Percentage of GMO ingredients that must be present for mandatory GMO labeling in Japan: .1

Canada and the United States’ policies for mandatory labeling of GMO foods: nonexistent

Percentage of processed foods containing GM products in the United States according to the Grocery Manufacturers of America: 75

Xpat Magazine June, 2007

The largest retail company in the word: 7-11

Amount of money American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class: USD$40,000

The year that the first Wal-Mart opened: 1962

Wal-Mart’s world ranking in terms of economic output, if it were to be considered a country: 20th

The number of corporations that, if considered to be countries, would rank among the 100 largest economies in the world: 53

The method employed by the Fumin County Government in China’s Yunnan province to improve the feng shui of a mined out mountain: they spray painted the barren mountainside green

The percentage of the earth’s original forested area still standing: 22

The number of trees on average that it takes to print the Sunday edition of the New York Times: 63,000

Number of times that the total amount of paper used by US businesses in one day could circle the earth: 20

Percentage of women in the world who will ever wear a diamond of one carat or more: 1

Factor by which the bacteria on the average office desk outnumbers the bacteria on the average office toilet seat: 400

Average life expectancy of an enemy combatant in a Chuck Norris movie: 4 seconds

The top three pirated software producing countries in descending order: Vietnam, China and Ukraine

The top importer of US made spaceships and parts in the world: Taiwan

The country with the most mobile phone’s per capita in the world: Taiwan with 106.45 phones for every 100 people

The percentage that Taiwan’s GDP increased from 1980-2000: 210

The only country whose GDP increased more during the same time period: China (382%)

Percentage of Taiwan’s population that lives below the poverty line: 0.9 (the lowest of all countries listed)

The number of terrorism acts committed in Taiwan between 1968 and 2006: 1

The only South-East Asian country never to have been (officially) colonized by a Western power: Thailand

The jail term a 61-year-old Thai man was sentenced to after attempting to copulate with an elephant: 15 years

His excuse: The elephant was a reincarnation of his late wife and he “recognized her by the naughty glint in her eyes"

The percentage of men and women respectively that have told lies to sleep with somebody: 34 and 10

The proportion of Americans now carrying a viral STD: 1/5

The proportion of people carrying an STD that experience no noticeable symptoms: 80

Two unsuccessful methods employed by officials at the Bangkok Zoo trying to encourage a pair of pandas to breed: Giving the pair a mock wedding and showing them ‘panda porn’

Percentage of the all websites that are pornographic: 12

Percentage of search engine requests pornographic in nature: 25

Percentage of internet users that view porn: 42.7

Top three pornography producing countries in the world in descending order: China, South Korea and Japan

The year that the Chinese government officially removed homosexuality from its list of state recognized mental illnesses: 2001

The year that Phoenix Satellite Television launched China’s first gay-focused T.V. show: 2007

The amount of money that one Chinese man offered to pay in a web ad seeking a woman to pretend to be his mistress so that his wife could beat her up: approx. $400 USD per 10 minutes

Xpat Magazine March, 2007

The definition of 'Lookism': discrimination against or prejudice towards others based on their appearance

The average hourly earnings of men with "below-average looks" and "above-average looks" compared to the national average in North America respectively: -8.9% and +5.4%

The average hourly earnings of women with "below-average looks" and "above-average looks" in Shanghai: -31.1% and +9.7%

The personality traits that people to attribute to 'attractive' people based solely on their appearance: successful, contended, pleasant, intelligent, sociable, exciting, creative and diligent

Marilyn Monroe's dress size in the 1950s: 16 (approximately the same as a size 12 today)

Catherine Zeta-Jones's dress size: 6

Percentage of women dieting at any given time: 44

Percentage of American adults who think they're obese: 19.8

Percentage of American adults who are obese: 30.5

Number of new anorexia and bulimia patients each year in the U.S. according to Naomi Wolf's feminist classic The Beauty Myth: 1,000,000

Percentage of American women suffering from anorexia or bulimia (same source): 60

Factor by which one study found the above statistics to be overstated respectively: 13.3 and 120

Number of Hairdressing Industry employees in Britain: 180,000

Total number of professionals working in skin care salons, nail salons, and barber shops in the U.S. in 2003: 1,600,000

Percent increase in salon professionals working in the U.S. between 1999 and 2003: 24

The labor market situation of salon professionals according to one beauty school directory: There's a "severe shortage of licensed salon professionals"

The worlds first and second largest exporters in the "Beauty and Jewelry Industry" respectively: China and India (39% of global exports)

The world's first and second largest exporters in the "Apparel and Fashion Industry" respectively: China and Pakistan (41% of global exports) 8

The apparent center of the fashion world: China

Top three plastic surgery procedures in the U.S. in 2005, and the surgeries performed: liposuction (324,000), nose reshaping (298,000), and breast augmentation (291,000)

Total spent on cosmetic plastic surgery in the U.S. in 2005: $9.4 billion

Total number of cosmetic surgery procedures performed in the U.S. in 2005: 10.2 million

Percent change from 2004: +11

The Greek goddess of beauty: Aphrodite

How she was born: Kronos castrated his father, Ouranos, and threw his penis into the sea which caused it to froth, and from the foam Aphrodite was born

Xpat Magazine September, 2006

Tyco executive Dennis Kozlowski's brother-in-law's defense for an extravagant bachelor party held for his son with Tyco company money: "It wasn't like a three-ring circus...there was only one dwarf."

World Record for the longest "midget toss": 11 feet 5 inches1

Event at which the record was made: British Midget Tossing Championships 2002

Penalty in Ontario, Canada for tossing a midget: "a fine of not more than $5,000 or...imprisonment for a term of not more than six months, or both."

Amount of money a professional tossing-dwarf can earn: more that $100,000 USD per year

2 Duration 1.14m-tall Manuel Wackenheim fought a French ban on dwarf-tossing that left him unemployed: 2 years 2

The result: he lost

Age of an East Indian girl who married a dog to ward off an "evil spell": 9

Manifestation of the "evil spell": she had a tooth rooted to her upper gum, a bad omen

The size of the dowry a Sudanese man paid to marry his neighbor's goat: $15,000 Sudanese Dinars (approx. $50 USD)

The reason behind it: He was caught copulating with the goat, and village elders decided he must pay the owner a dowry and marry it

Last known status of the marriage: still together

According to a state approved West Indian textbook for 14 year olds, why a donkey is like a wife: "It has to toil all day, and, like her, may even have to give up food and water."

Why a donkey is better than a wife (same source): "while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master."

Number of donkey weddings in Madras, India in 2003 in an attempt to bring rain: 5

New Zealand's top producer of greenhouse gasses: belching and flatulent livestock

The governments initial proposed solution: a flatulence tax (later abandoned)

Number of calls in 1998 Southern California resident Al Niño received complaining about his effect on the weather: more than 100

Number of calls he received with blame for a stranger's daughter's loss of virginity: 1

Number of calls he's received thanking him for improving the weather: 1

World Record for longest time standing nude atop Mt. Everest: 3 minutes

The accomplishment that George W. Bush expects to be his legacy, according to a senior White House consultant: "saving Iran"

The reason that Canadian Minister of Defense Paul Hellyer called on Canadian Parliament to discuss the best way to deal with extraterrestrials: he's "so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war."

The name of a series of Brooklyn-based hip-hop parties aimed at young, white people: Kill Whitey

Attendees eligible for free entry: anybody who brings a bucket of chicken

The cost of one professional anus bleaching in Los Angeles: $75

Xpat Magazine June, 2006

Volume of soft drinks consumed by the average North American in 1999 : 48 gallons

Top grossing soft drink company in the world : Coca Cola

Number of human rights violations against union members, including unfair dismissal, abduction, torture, and murder, alleged to have been committed by Coca Cola in Columbia by a 2004 New York City fact finding delegation: 179

Number of violations for murder: 9

Total amount spent by the US on poppy eradication and other anti-drug campaigns in Afghanistan last year: $780,000,000

Amount it would have cost to purchase the country's entire 2004 poppy crop: $600,000,000

Total number of uses for the word or acronym POP discovered while researching this issue: 36

Number of Popeye statues in the United States: 6

Date that John Lennon proclaimed the Beatles "more popular than Jesus": March 4, 1966

The reaction of Richard James Cardinal Cushing, the Archbishop of Boston at the time : Lennon was "probably right"

Number of people who search google for "Jesus" and the "Beatles" in one month respectively:850,000 and 170,000

Number that search "Cheese": 750,100

Ratio of searches for "Britney Spears" to "God" : Nearly 2 to 1

Most searched word on google : sex

Most Popular album of all time according to a 2003 Zagat survey : Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run

Number of positions in top 5 albums of same survey occupied by the Beatles: 3

J-Lo's dressing room requirements for a benefit concert in Miami : White room, white flowers, white tables and/or tablecloths, white drapes, white candles, white couches...

Most popular movie of all time according to the Internet Movie Database : The Godfather

Most published book of all time : The Bible

Greatest novel of all-time according to a poll of prominent authors from around the world : Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes

Number of free copies of Don Quixote distributed to Venezuelan people by the government in "Operation Dulcinea" : 1 million

Reason for "Operation Dulcinea" according to President Hugo Chavez : "We're still oppressed by so we want the Venezuelan people to get to know better Don Quixote, who we see as a symbol of the struggle for justice and the righting of wrongs."

Marilyn Monroe's measurements : 37-23-36

Average fashion model's measurements: 33-23-33

Projected measurements of a Barbie doll, if she were a full-sized human being: 36-18-33

Percentage of 9-and 10 year-old-girls polled by Pediatrics magazine that are trying to lose weight : 40%

4 President of International Operations at Coca Cola Muhtar Kent's feelings on Chinese cuisine : "Chinese meals and Sprite are really connected"

President Bush's popularity rating on February 27, 2006 : 34% (an all-time low)

President Clinton's approval rating immediately following his impeachment : 73% (his highest ever)

Xpat Magazine February, 2006

Taiwan's religious affiliations: mixture of Buddhist, Confucian, and Taoist 93%, Christian 4.5%, other 2.5%

Population of China: 1.3 billion

Worldwide Membership of the Catholic Church: 1 billion

Number of Asian conversions to Catholicism since 1978: 54 million

Nicknames earned by Pope Benedict while working for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (a descendant of the Holy Inquisition): "The Pope's Enforcer" and "God's Rottweiler".

Pope Benedict's description of homosexuality: An "intrinsic moral evil."

Age at which Pope Benedict joined the Hitler Youth: 14

Manner in which Pope Benedict left the German Army: Deserted

Percentage of Vietnam citizens proclaiming no religious affiliation: 80.8%

Percentage of Cambodia and Thailand citizens that are practicing Buddhists, respectively: 95% and 94.6%

Number of Muslim protesters suffocated to death last October when packed into overcrowded trucks by presumably Buddhist Thai police forces: 78

Aims of the Church of Scientology according to a 1972 document entitled 'Governing Policy' written by founder L. Ron Hubbard: MAKE MONEY…MAKE MONEY…MAKE MORE MONEY…MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MONEY

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's ideal fate for the Jewish state of Israel: to be "wiped off the map.”

His opinion on the holocaust: "a myth"

His suggestions for alternate locations for Israel: "Europe, the US, Canada or Alaska"

Percentage of the world population that did not feel their country was governed by the will of the people, according to a Gallup International poll taken last September: 65%

Percentage that trusted politicians: 13%

Percentage that trusted religious leaders: 33%

Winner of the BBC 'Who Runs Your World' contest in which participants choose their ideal leader of a fictional world government: Nelson Mandela

In same contest, rankings of Noam Chomsky, Osama BinLaden, and Harry Potter book author JK Rowling respectively: 4th, 70th, and 49th

Percentage of Americans who feel that presidential candidates must be strongly religious: 70%

Percentage of Americans who would not vote for a well-qualified Muslim for president: 38%

Percentage of Americans who believe that Islam is more likely than other religions "to encourage violence among its believers": 44%

Percentage of Americans who would not vote for a well-qualified atheist: 52%

Number of British citizens who claimed to be Jedi Knights in 2004: 45,000

Xpat Magazine December, 2005

Speed of winds from hurricane Katrina (mph): 160

Speed of winds from Supertyphoon Haitang (mph): 145

Proportion of New Orleans underwater at the time of writing: 80%

Largest case of genocide in history: the destruction of the Native American community -- between 2 and 100 million people exterminated

Number of people killed in 9/11 attacks: 2992

Number of dollars that George W. spent tracking down the evildoers who exterminated the United States original inhabitants: 0

amount per citizen the US Government spends on the War in Iraq: $766

amount per citizen the US Government spends on Tsunami Relief: $1.18

minimum count of civilians who have died in the Iraq War: 23,645

Number of Iraqis who have crashed airliners into American buildings: 0

Number of civilians that died due to the Vietnam War according to Vietnam’s Ministry of Labor: nearly 2 million

Tallest wave (m) of the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami: 30

Height from which the 1958 tsunami in Lituya Bay, Alaska washed trees from the mountainside: 500 meters

Height (km) of the column of ash released when Vesuvius erupted: 32

Gruesome reason that many Vesuvius victims were found with the tops of their skulls missing: heat caused their brains to explode

Temperature in F? at the center of the explosion of the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki: 7000

Estimated number of people who died as result of the nuclear bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki: 200,000

Estimated number of people who died from the Black Plague: 200 million

Number of people scientists estimate that the Avian Flu could kill worldwide if it “acts similarly” to the Spanish Flu: 180 to 360 million

Number of people who died in the 1997 Hong Kong Avian flu scare: 6

Number of poultry subsequently destroyed: 1.5 million

Number of hours it took to kill the birds: 72

Number of disasters appearing in Wikipedia’s Top Ten Natural Disasters List that occurred in China: 7

Percent of women who “have experienced attempted or completed forced sex by an intimate partner or ex-partner”: 12 to 25

The female to male ratio of HIV infection in Africa: 6:1

Length in hours of Britney Spears’ first marriage: 55

Days between the annulment of Britney’s first marriage and her second wedding: 256

Number of children Britney should have by the time you read this issue of Xpat: 1